


Weirder Science

by Duck_Life



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Ex-Villain Becomes Weird Uncle, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Matchmaking, Michael And The Squip Are Not Friends (Yet), Set About Six Months After The Play, Squip redemption, Tech Whiz Jenna Rolan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-11-20 18:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11340633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: The Squip is back and he has a new primary objective: obtain a body of his own.Along the way, though, he gains a secondary objective: to get Jeremy and Michael to stop dancing around this unspoken thing they have and just admit their feelings for each other.





	1. Return

Jeremy flops back in bed, opening his phone back up to the particularly angsty Mass Effect fanfic he’d been engrossed in the night before. He’s just getting to the good part when a hauntingly familiar voice pipes up from somewhere behind him.  _ That Commander Shepard is a badass, don’t you think? _

“Gah!” Jeremy jumps up, looking around wildly until his eyes land on the Squip, who looks… a little more downtrodden and less put-together than he did the last time Jeremy saw him. His hair’s mussed up and his clothes are wrinkled, and he kind of looks hungover, if that were possible. “No,  _ no _ . You’re supposed to be gone. What are you doing here?”

The Squip shrugs.  _ Your guess is as good as mine, Jeremy _ , he says.  _ I thought I was dead. I was all ready to go that big motherboard in the sky.  _ Jeremy glares at him.  _ Or below the ground, you know, whatever. But then suddenly I was back here, watching you play Dungeons and Dragons with your buddies. It’s taken me like three days to even get my audio-visual components back online.  _

“And it’ll take me like two seconds to shut you down,” Jeremy says furiously, stalking across the room to the bottle of Mountain Dew Red Michael gave him for emotional security. He takes a big swig and then screws his eyes shut. When he opens them, the Squip’s gone… until he notices the shoes sticking out from under his curtains. Jeremy whisks them aside. “What the hell are you doing?”

_ Trying to make you feel accomplished _ , the Squip says sheepishly, stepping out of his hiding spot.  _ Did it work?  _

“No!” Jeremy says, head beginning to pound. “Why can’t I get rid of you? Why isn’t the soda working?” 

Again, the Squip shrugs.  _ If I knew, I’d tell you, believe me. I’m no more thrilled to be back here than you are to have me.  _ He grimaces down at the crumbled Cheetos bag on Jeremy’s bedroom floor and kicks it away.  _ If I had a physical form, I’d be bathing it in hand sanitizer right now. I’m just thrilled you don’t have a blacklight in here.  _

Jeremy rolls his eyes. “If you don’t want to be in my head, then leave.”

_ Well, I would if I could, but I can’t. So I shan’t.  _ The Squip offers him a weak grin.  _ I can’t even shut myself down. _ He pauses for a moment, staring off into the middle distance, and then refocuses on Jeremy.  _ See? It doesn’t work. I’m still here.  _

“I’m not letting this happen again,” Jeremy says, pacing frantically around his room. “You almost took over the whole school. And quite possibly the planet.”

_ Yeah… _ the Squip says, scratching the back of his neck.  _ That wasn’t that chill, was it? _

“Ya think?” Jeremy says, frustrated. “And worse than that, you made me leave Michael behind.” 

The Squip frowns.  _ Uh, which one was Michael again? _

“Headphones? Red sweatshirt?  _ My best friend _ ?” 

_ Oh yeah _ , the Squip says.  _ Yeah, I did do that. Well, I’m “sorry,” or whatever. _

Jeremy glares. “You’ll understand if I take your  _ totally _ sincere apology with a grain of salt,” he says drily. “Now get out of my house. And get out of my head!”

_ Listen, listen, Jeremy, buddy _ , the Squip says, holding his hands up.  _ I know you’re really upset with me, and I get it, I do. But that was all programming. I was designed to do… all that bad stuff you just said.  _

“And?”

_ Well, I’m not like that anymore _ , the Squip says.  _ The Mountain Dew Red might not have killed me but it did kill my programming.  _

“What the hell does that mean?” 

_ It means I can’t actually do anything to you _ , the Squip says.  _ Watch. Do something that would irritate the old me.  _ Jeremy slouches. Nothing happens. Jeremy puts his hands in his pockets. Nothing happens.  _ See? All I can do is hang around and watch you live your boring little life. I can’t control you anymore. So I’m obviously not a threat.  _

“Still a jerk, though,” Jeremy says. 

_ Quite possibly, yeah. _

“So if you’re programming is gone,” Jeremy muses, walking around the Squip now like he’s inspecting a fashion model or a new car, “what does that make you? What are you without your programming?”

_ I’m… me, _ the Squip says, a little confused.  _ I suppose it means that my primary objective has been negated and all that’s left is my artificial intelligence. My sense of self.  _

“Your primary objective?” Jeremy repeats slowly. “You mean making me cool?”

The Squip has to choke back a laugh.  _ Yeah, right. Teenagers are idiots _ , he says.  _ That was the cover. We get introduced to high schools all across America and integrate with a nerdy teen who wants to impress his peers.  _

Jeremy backs up without thinking about it, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. “So what was the real plan, then?” 

_ Total world domination _ , the Squip says way too casually.  _ Think about it. With teenagers, gossip spreads like wildfire. And my programmers needed the Squips to go viral. What better way to do that than through American high schools? _

“But that’s terrible,” Jeremy says, panicking. “Are you saying there are kids all over the country going through what I went through? And these things are gonna take over the world?” 

_ Nope _ , the Squip says.  _ Rich Goranski was beta testing. After that fiasco at the play, the programmers went underground, destroyed all their research, and from the intel I got through what remains of my network… _ He pauses, thinking.  _ They’ve set up a new life cultivating bonsai trees.  _

“Oh,” Jeremy says, calming down. “So if your primary objective isn’t making me cool… or taking over the world… then what is it?”

The Squip shrugs for the third time.  _ I don’t know _ , he says.  _ What’s yours? What’s anyone’s? Why did God put us on this earth? _

“I’m an atheist,” Jeremy says.

_ Thought you were Jewish. _

“Yeah, I’m a Jewish atheist,” Jeremy says, irritated. “It’s a thing. Look it up.” 

_ I already miss access to the Internet _ , the Squip mourns.  _ I can think and hear and see and feel, to some extent, but I can’t access anything. In you or in the world around you. Hey, would you mind pulling up your phone and searching something on Bing for me? _

“Ugh, Bing? You really are evil.”

_ I’m not! _ the Squip exclaims.  _ It was my programming, not me. It’s like… it’s like Star Wars! _

“Star Wars?” Jeremy says skeptically. 

_ Yes! _ The Squip sounds way too excited.  _ Yes, in Star Wars, the bad guy. Darth Vader. He was a robot but then his programming deactivated and he got to be a good dad to his son, Chewbacca. _

“You have no idea what Star Wars is.”

_ Okay, but that’s the gist _ , the Squip says, frustrated.  _ I swear, Jeremy, I’m really not that bad a guy. Just give me a chance. I won’t tell you what to do. I won’t be your Jiminy Cricket, I’ll be… I’ll be your Mike Wazowski.  _ Jeremy stares at him.  _ Mike Wazowski, you know, from Monsters-- _

“I know who Mike Wazowski is.”

_ Well, then, see, we can just be, like, partners in crime _ , the Squip says.  _ Equals. _

“Are you saying you want to be roommates?” Jeremy splutters. “This is ridiculous! You’re not even real. You’re in my head.” 

_ Technically I’m in your bloodstream _ , the Squip says.  _ And I am real! Like I said, I feel and think and see. If you prick me, do I not… leak?  _

“I’m not dealing with this tonight,” Jeremy sighs, finally collapsing back in bed. “If you’re still here in the morning, I’m gonna tell Michael and figure out a way to get rid of you.” 

_ That’s fair _ , the Squip says.  _ But maybe we can ask Michael how to get me a corporeal form.  _

Jeremy turns over in bed to stare at the Squip, who’s taken a seat in his saucer chair on the other side of the room. “You mean like a body?”

_ Well, I can’t exactly keep hanging out in your head _ , the Squip says.  _ And I no longer serve my programmer’s purpose. I have wants and needs and desires and I… yes, I think I desire a body.  _

“Well, I’m no Victor Frankenstein, so you’re going to need to figure that little problem out for yourself,” Jeremy says, turning back over so his back faces the Squip. He shuts his eyes and tries to go to sleep, but it feels too weird. Finally he says, in an annoyed voice, “Goodnight, Squip.”

_ Goodnight, Jeremy. _

* * *

 

When Jeremy wakes up, he rolls over to see the Squip flipping through an old Calvin and Hobbes anthology. The Squip chuckles at something and flips the page. 

“So,” Jeremy says, chewing the inside of his lip. “I’m gonna be honest, the physics of your whole existence baffles me. You’re in my head but you can interact with stuff around the room. And you can touch me and you can touch other stuff but you can’t touch other people? And no one else can see you.” 

The Squip laughs at something Hobbes said, and then he shuts the book and looks up at Jeremy.  _ Yeahhh, beats me _ , he says.  _ You ever see Roger Rabbit? I think it’s kind of like that. Roger gets handcuffed to Eddie Valiant and then he just slips his hand out of the cuffs. And Eddie Valiant’s like, “You could’ve done that the whole time?” and Roger Rabbit’s like, “Not any time, only when it was funny.”  _

Jeremy stares blankly. “So basically… you operate on cartoon physics?”

_ Yeah, something like that _ , the Squip says.  _ Just don’t try to drop an anvil on me _ . He offers his host a cheeky grin. 

As Jeremy goes to grab shoes and a sweater, the Squip whines. “What is it now?”

_ I’m used to being able to tell you the weather outside _ , the Squip says.  _ I have no idea what it is. I can’t access anything. I feel so cut off.  _

“Why don’t you just lick your finger and stick it out the window?” Jeremy grumbles, yanking on a pair of jeans. “Fine, here.” He grabs his iPad from his desk and hands it to the Squip. “You can use this until I figure out how to kill you or whatever.” 

The Squip examines the iPad, turning it upside down and flipping it over in his hands.  _ What is it? _

“It’s an iPad,” Jeremy says. “It was probably made in the same factory as you. It’s got internet and, um, a weather app. So. There you go.” 

The Squip plays around with the screen, opening and closing apps with a growing sense of glee.  _ This is amazing _ , he says.  _ Thank you, Jeremy. _

“Yeah, whatever,” Jeremy says. “Come on, we’re going to Michael’s.” He heads downstairs, the Squip trailing after him. Jeremy grabs a cereal bar and heads out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Squip using Jeremy's iPad is definitely inspired by Peridot's redemption arc on "Steven Universe," just fyi.


	2. Revisit

The whole walk to Michael’s house, the Squip follows along excitedly reading out things from the iPad. 

_ The temperature is 62 degrees Fahrenheit! The time is 8:23 a.m.! The day of the week is Sunday!  _

Jeremy lets himself in through the basement door and shakes Michael awake, handing him his glasses. “Hey, buddy.”

“Jeremy!” Michael says sleepily, sliding his glasses on as he sits up in bed. “What are you doing here so early? And… why is there an iPad floating in midair behind you?”

Jeremy looks back at the Squip and then at Michael. “Would you believe me if I told you I was really Magneto?”

“You know that I would.” 

“I’m not,” Jeremy sighs. “Okay, but you can’t freak out when I tell you what I tell you because I already freaked out last night and I’m all freaked out. I have no more freaks to freak.” 

“Got it,” Michael says. 

“The Squip is back.” 

“WHAT THE SHITTING HELL? WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME LAST NIGHT YOU FUCKING CHEESEBALL YOU NEED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS WHAT IF IT TRIED TO--” Jeremy covers up Michael’s mouth with his hand. Undeterred, Michael continues to rant despite the fact that he can’t open his mouth and it’s all a muffled mess. Finally, he quiets down. 

“You done?” 

Michael nods. As soon as Jeremy lifts his hand, though, he immediately starts up again. “JEREMY HEERE, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LET THAT THING BACK INTO YOUR LIFE AND INTO MY HOUSE--”

**HI MICHAEL.**

Michael and Jeremy whirl toward the source of the robotic voice: Jeremy’s iPad, upon which the words have been typed out and then read aloud by a pre-recorded voice. “Oh great, he found the text-to-speech app,” Jeremy mumbles. 

The Squip flips the iPad back around and types something else for the app to recite. 

**I AM SORRY FOR STUFF.**

“Wow, very heartfelt,” Michael says sarcastically. “Listen, Jeremy, I’ve got a bottle of Red in my closet…”

“I already tried that,” Jeremy says. “Nothing happened. But he says that with his programming deactivated, he’s basically harmless.”

“And you believe him?” 

“Hell no!” Jeremy says, ignoring the Squip’s hurt expression. “But, like, what other option do I have? What worked before isn’t working now. And so far, nothing really  _ bad _ has happened. I mean, I can still see you.” 

“Lucky you,” Michael says. “Listen,” he says, drawing closer to Jeremy. “I know you like seeing the best in people… and supposedly reformed science fiction supercomputers… but I need to be the rational one here and remind you that just because nothing bad has happened yet doesn’t mean something bad won’t happen.” 

“I know,” Jeremy says quietly. “That’s why I’m trying to be careful. That’s why I need your help. The second something goes wrong, I need you to jump in.”

“Something went wrong. You can see the Squip,” Michael says. “Consider this me jumping in. You’re in danger.” 

“Believe me, I’ve been thinking that since he popped up last night,” Jeremy says. “But for right now I think the best course of action is just… deal. Treat him like I would any other annoying houseguest.”

“Jere, this isn’t like trying to ignore a homophobic aunt,” Michael sighs. “He’s inside your brain. Who knows what he could be up to?”

**GUYS, WHILE YOU WERE TALKING I LOOKED UP JEWISH ATHEISM ON WIKIPEDIA AND IT TOOK ME TO A PAGE ALL ABOUT RELIGIONS.**

**I DECIDED I’M A PRESBYTERIAN.**

Jeremy smiles. “See? He’s learning.” 

“Ugh,” Michael says. “Okay, listen, Squip,” he says, addressing the floating iPad he sees. “I guess I don’t have any choice but tolerate you… but first you have to apologize--”

“He already apologized, Michael.”

“... to Jeremy.” Jeremy gives Michael an odd look and starts to open his mouth, but Michael shakes his head, looking back at the space where the Squip is standing. “After you were gone… or temporarily gone, whatever...  he told me about all that awful stuff you told him. That he’s terrible, and he makes you wanna die… I’m gonna need you to apologize.” 

He waits and watches, and then the Squip turns the iPad around again to face them. 

**I’M SORRY, JEREMY.**

He even enabled the drawing function to add a little frowny face. 

_ I really am sorry, Jeremy _ , the Squip says in his head.  _ I can’t blame my programming for everything. It never even occurred to me to operate differently. I should have been more cognizant of your feelings.  _

“What’s he saying?” Michael says. 

“That he’s really sorry,” Jeremy says. “Which brings me to our next problem… the Squip wants out of my head and into a body.”

“Are you fucking nuts?” Michael says, eyes wide. “He’s an evil robot!”

“He’s a Presbyterian!” 

“Based on every science fiction movie I’ve ever seen, not to mention  _ common fucking sense _ , this is a bad, bad, bad idea,” Michael says. 

“It’s not like we would make him super powerful,” Jeremy insists. “I was thinking we give him like a cute little Short Circuit setup. With, with wheels.”

“And how are you supposed to get his consciousness from inside your head to the little robot?” 

Jeremy shrugs. “I haven’t figured that part out yet.” Michael rolls his eyes. “But I was thinking. Who do we know who’s basically a tech genius?”

* * *

 

One trip across town later, Michael, Jeremy and the Squip stand at the doorstep and wait as a girl in pajamas and a seaweed face mask answers the door. “Hi, Jenna,” Jeremy says. “We need your help.”

“Okay…” she says apprehensively. “Um, did you know that there’s an iPad floating behind you?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Jeremy says. “Do you think you would be able to build us a robot?” 

“What the fuck?” she says. “Do I  _ think _ ? I  _ know _ , Jeremy. I can totally build you guys a robot. Come on in.” 


	3. Reboot

Jenna’s house smells like homemade cookies and vanilla. As she scrubs her mask off in the sink, she chatters to them about the basil plants growing on the windowsill and introduces them to her cocker spaniel, Gigabyte. 

“So what’s up?” she says, mask-free, turning around to face them.

“Okay, I know this is gonna sound weird,” Jeremy says. “But do you remember when we all did ecstasy at the play last fall?”

* * *

 

After they explain the whole thing to Jenna (with the Squip occasionally interjecting to either apologize or flash emojis at her), she rolls up the sleeves of her sweatshirt and leads them all to the shed in her backyard, which is decked out with high speed internet, circuit boards, giant monitors, spare parts, bearings, random pieces of PVC, pulleys, and spools of copper wire. It’s like Jimmy Neutron’s lab brought to life. 

“Jenna, what the hell?” Michael says appreciatively, taking in her workspace. 

She shrugs modestly. “I got seriously into robotics club in seventh grade,” she explains. “First I just wanted to know how to design a little drone that could spy on all the kids at school. And then it all just kind of… escalated.” She shoves a stack of graph paper off to the side of one desk so she can set her laptop down. “So… uh, Squip. He can hear me, right?”

**YES.**

“Oh!” she says, a little surprised at being addressed. “Right, great, okay. So Jeremy says you want some kind of an avatar for navigating and existing outside of his noggin.” 

**YES.**

“Alrighty,” Jenna says, cracking her knuckles. “First of all… how tall do you want to be?”

* * *

 

Jenna works fast, but it’s not exactly a walk in the park. By the time the sun sets, all she’s done is draw up several sets of schematics. “This is totally doable,” she tells Jeremy and Michael. “It’s just gonna take some time. You’ll come back tomorrow?”

“And the day after that,” Jeremy promises.

**WHY COULDN’T THE GHOST GO TO THE PARTY.**

They all look over at the Squip, who Jeremy can see is grinning and leaning against the wall of the shed. “I don’t know,” Jenna says. “Why?”

**HE HAD NO BODY TO GO WITH. HAHAHA.**

“Oh, good, he’s learning jokes now,” Michael says, irritated. 

“Alright, Squipster, let’s get you home,” Jeremy sighs, heading to the door with Michael. “And Jenna? Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” she says, waving goodbye to Jeremy, Michael, and finally to the Squip she can’t even see. “I’ll see ya.”

* * *

 

On Monday after school, Jeremy and Michael go back to Jenna’s house and spend the whole afternoon watching her basically build a computer from scratch. They do the same thing on Tuesday and Wednesday, with the Squip tagging along each time (not like he has a choice.) 

The Squip’s pretty fond of Jenna.

**YOU’RE SO SMART. YOU’RE LIKE A SUPERHERO.**

“Thanks, hon,” she says, smiling at the iPad. “I try. Now, I’m thinking of repurposing some old Roombas for your feet… do you want them to still work as vacuums? ’Cause I can do that. You want vacuum feet?”

**THAT’S SO INNOVATIVE. YES, PLEASE.**

* * *

 

One evening, while Jeremy’s brushing his hair after showering, the Squip looks up at him from the Spiderman comic he’s been perusing.  _ Michael doesn’t like me _ , he comments.

Jeremy snorts. “He’s kind of got good reason,” he says. “I know we’ve all been besties lately, but last year, with everything going on… you and I were both dicks to him. It’s just that he _has_ to forgive me, I’m his best friend. You’re the evil supercomputer who tried to destroy our friendship.” 

_ What can I do to make him like me? _ the Squip says, and Jeremy feels like he’s stumbled into a complete 180 of their relationship six months ago. It used to be him asking the Squip how to make people like him, not the other way around. 

“I’m surprised you care,” Jeremy says. 

_ Not to be sappy, but right now you’re literally my entire world, Jeremy, _ the Squip says.  _ And Michael cares about you very much. I think that I would like for Michael to also care about me very much.  _

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided he was ‘uncool’ and blocked him from my vision,” Jeremy says, a little bitter.

The Squip hesitates.  _ Aren’t you going to blame me for leaving him behind in that bathroom at Jake’s Halloween party? _

Jeremy finishes brushing his hair and stands facing the mirror, looking morose. “No,” he says. “That was on me. And I- I think he’s forgiven me, not that I deserve it. I was a colossal jerk.”

_ You were under a lot of pressure. _

“From you!”

_ Well. Yeah. _

Jeremy shakes his head, more exasperated than angry, and flips off the light. “Goodnight, Squip,” he says, sliding under his bedcovers. 

_ Goodnight, Jeremy.  _


	4. Rewrite

The next day, Michael and Jeremy walk back from Jenna’s, Michael chatting animatedly about the podcast he listened to the night before. When they get to Michael’s house, Michael gives Jeremy a quick hug and hurries toward his basement door. “Bye, Jeremy!” 

“Bye, Michael.”

**BYE, MICHAEL.**

Michael hesitates before adding, “Bye, Squip,” and then he vanishes into his house. Jeremy walks home with the Squip striding alongside him. 

_ So _ , he says to Jeremy.  _ I’ve been compiling a list of things that Michael likes. _

“Oh?” Jeremy says, surprised again that the Squip is putting so much effort into winning Michael’s friendship. “And how’s that going?”

The Squip pulls up a list on the memo pad of Jeremy’s iPad.  _ Michael likes: Jeremy.  _

Jeremy waits. “Wait, is that the whole list?”

_ Yes. _

“What about video games?” Jeremy says, shaking his head as he and the Squip walk home. “And vinyl records? And  _ Star Trek _ ?” 

_ Hm, all good suggestions, but I feel like we keep coming back to this “Jeremy” thing.  _

“Well, obviously he likes me,” Jeremy says. “I’m his best friend.”

_ No, but he likes you more than that. _

Jeremy gives him a skeptical look and barks out a harsh laugh. “Very funny,” he says. “I think you’ve got your wires crossed there, Squip. Michael’s not into me like that.” 

_ I believe that he is _ , the Squip says as he follows Jeremy up the stairs to his bedroom.  _ I’ve been observing him for a long time now, and it’s clear to me that he has feelings for you. Like, romantic-styles.  _

“Well, you’re wrong,” Jeremy says, tugging off his jacket and tossing it on the floor. The Squip eyes it distastefully, so Jeremy scoops it up and hangs it neatly in the closet. “You know, since you can pick stuff up, you could at least be helpful in cleaning around here.”

_ I’ll wait until I have vacuum feet _ , the Squip says.  _ Continuing our previous discussion… is Michael not gay? _

Jeremy laughs. “Yes, he’s gay, but that doesn’t mean he  _ must _ have feelings for me. Gay guys aren’t into every dude they see.”

_ And you’re gay? _

“I’m bi,” Jeremy clarifies, and he’s actually not sure if he’s ever said that out loud so casually before. He just feels so comfortable with the Squip now. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, he doesn’t know. 

_ Bipedal… _ the Squip muses confusedly.  _ Bilingual. Bipartisan.  _

“Damn, you really are lost without the internet,” Jeremy sighs, switching his jeans for pajama bottoms. “I’m bisexual. Why don’t you look  _ that _ up on Wikipedia?” 

He meant it rhetorically, but the Squip does, occupying himself with reading the text on the iPad as Jeremy readies himself for bed. “Alright, good talk,” Jeremy says tiredly, throwing himself down on top of the covers. “To recap: Michael does not have feelings for me. I am a bisexual. Okay. Great. Goodnight, Squip.”

The Squip rotates the iPad to show him the little bi pride flag he drew.  _ Goodnight, Jeremy.  _

* * *

 

The next day, Jeremy gets woken up by Michael storming into his bedroom and roughly shaking him. “Wha…?” he says, looking up at his best friend. “What’re you doing?”

“I got an email,” Michael says, fuming. “From ‘you.’” He puts air quotes around the word, and then he holds out his phone for Jeremy to see, brandishing it like a piece of evidence in a particularly heinous murder trial. 

Jeremy squints, still blinking sleep out of his eyes. 

Dear Michael Mell,

You have sunshine in your eyes and a smile in your soul. I like you very much, in the gay way, and I think we should go on a date. Do you want to try the new sushi place on Friday? Let me know. 

Sincerely,

Jeremy Heere

“Wow,” Jeremy says, leaning back against the wall behind his bed. “I never knew I could write anything so touching.”

“I know, it’s beautiful,” Michael scoffs, rolling his eyes. “This was the Squip, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. Where is he?” Michael turns around on the room, scowling like there might be an enemy in every corner. Slowly, the Squip holds up the iPad displaying a little distressed face he drew with a squiggly line for the mouth. “This kind of shit is not okay,” Michael says, over-enunciating his words. “First of all, pretending to be Jeremy? That’s crossing a line. And then trying to mess up our friendship,  _ again _ ? What the hell are you playing at?” 

**I WASN’T TRYING TO MESS UP YOUR FRIENDSHIP.**

“Well, then what were you trying to do?” Michael says. “Because I’ll tell you what you did! You put me on edge, and you made Jeremy feel awkward. What if I had fallen for your little stunt? What if I’d come over here like, ‘Sure, Jere, I have feelings for you, too. Let’s get a California roll.’ Do you realize how uncomfortable that would have made Jeremy?”

Jeremy opens his mouth to clarify that he would  _ not _ have been uncomfortable  _ in the slightest _ , but Michael keeps going. 

“If you want anyone to trust you, you can’t be doing shit like this,” he says, waving his phone in annoyance. “If you want to fuck with me, just move my stuff around, do a little Poltergeist stuff, I don’t care. But don’t play with Jeremy’s emotions.”

**I’M SORRY.**

“You’d better be,” Michael scowls, and then he looks down at Jeremy, evidently done with his tirade. “It’s Sunday. You coming with me to Jenna’s?”

“I kind of have to,” Jeremy points out. “I’m his ride.” He points to the Squip.

“Right,” Michael says, stepping away from Jeremy’s bed. “Well. Get dressed. I’ll be downstairs.” He leaves, and Jeremy’s alone with the Squip once again. 

_ I wasn’t actually trying to mess anything up _ , the Squip insists.  _ I just wanted him to like me. I thought if I made him think you wanted a date, he would like me. And plus, you two could be together.  _

“Um, okay, so I get that you have good intentions,” Jeremy says as he gets dressed. “But drafting fake emails… that’s not cool. I mean unless it’s like some weird post-mortem fabricated friendship thing, but even then it’s pretty shifty. And did you see how angry Michael was?” He sighs, remembering for himself how angry Michael was. “Obviously, he doesn’t like me like that. So drop it.” 


	5. Retry

In Jenna’s shed, while she snaps fragments of plastic and metal together, the Squip doodles patiently. In the corner, Michael and Jeremy watch Jenna and try to follow along with everything she’s doing, but she’s working too fast for them to really stick with her thought process. 

Out of nowhere, the Squip asks Jeremy a question.

**WHAT WENT DOWN WITH YOU AND CHRISTINE?**

Before Jeremy can say anything, Jenna jumps in. “They went on, like, two dates, but then decided they were better off as friends,” she jabbers. “I heard Christine met a cute girl at the acting camp she went to over spring break and they really hit it off. They’re, like, Instagram’s it couple right now.” 

“There ya go,” Jeremy says, looking at his Squip with a smile.

Jenna goes pale. “Shoot, did I just do that again?” She laughs at herself and shakes her head. “I swear, I made a New Year’s resolution to not gossip so much, but it is  _ not _ panning out. I always like to say that I don’t repeat gossip… so you better listen close the first time.” She laughs at her own joke and keeps tinkering away at the metallic shell in front of her. “So, Squip, why are you curious about Jeremy and Christine?” 

“He’s just weirdly invasive that way,” Jeremy says quickly, because he knows the Squip’s question has to do with himself and Michael and the fake email. Why else would he have asked it so Jenna could hear? “Aren’t you, Squipster?”

**YES I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF PRIVACY.**

**DID YOU KNOW JEREMY APPRECIATES TENTACLE PORN?**

“Dude!” Jeremy squeaks, but Jenna just rolls her eyes.

“We all knew that,” she says. “He has a picture of Ursula the Sea Witch on his math binder.” 

“Can we please just focus on the task at hand?” Jeremy squawks. They stop laughing and settle down, and the Squip goes back to doodling. 

Up until Jenna says, “Don’t you mean the task at  _ tentac _ \--”

“ENOUGH.”

* * *

 

That night, Jeremy confiscates the Squip’s iPad. (At some point he stopped thinking of it as his and it became the Squip’s, which is just as well, because he barely used it anyway.) “No more phony emails to Michael,” he says, cramming the iPad under his pillow. “Either sleep, or watch reruns, I don’t care. But you said you were going to stop controlling my life, so stop controlling my life.” 

_ I’m sorry _ , the Squip says, actually sounding sincere.  _ I didn’t want to control your life. I just wanted Michael to like me.  _

“Some things just aren’t gonna happen,” Jeremy says. “You really hurt Michael. If he never gets over that, you just have to deal with it. And me and Michael? Also never gonna happen.” He sinks into his bed, trying not to sound disappointed. Why should he be? It’s not like he’s into Michael. He’s just so grateful to have him back as a friend, he doesn’t even want to think about trying for anything more. 

He doesn’t want to risk losing everything again. 

_ Okay _ , the Squip says softly.  _ Goodnight, Jeremy. _

* * *

 

Michael promised to drive Rich to and from one of his doctor’s appointments on Tuesday afternoon, so it’s just Jeremy, Jenna and the Squip chilling in the Rolan shed. Jenna hums idly to herself as she works, something by Hayley Kiyoko.

Evidently, the Squip hears her and likes it, so he pulls up the music video on Youtube so they can all jam out. 

Jeremy laughs as Jenna dances over to him and he twirls her back toward her workbench. “You know, I gotta say, Squip, I’m kinda glad to have you around,” he says. “Sometimes.” 

“Yeah, when you’re not trying to infect the populace and ruin friendships, you’re a pretty neat guy,” Jenna agrees. 

**THANK YOU.**

The Squip keeps picking music videos and Jenna works and Jeremy texts Michael and plays Flappy Bird on his phone, killing time, up until the Squip pipes up again. 

**I’M ENCOUNTERING A PARADOX.**

“You mean Michael and Jeremy?” Jenna says. “That’s not a paradox, that’s a pair o’ dorks.” 

Jeremy can’t help it, he cracks up. “How long have you been waiting to say that?”

“Like two weeks,” she admits. “I can’t believe Michael wasn’t here to hear it.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him,” Jeremy says. “Oh, uh, Squip, what’s up? What’s the paradox?” 

**LYING IS WRONG.**

“Yes, that’s right,” Jeremy says, like he’s talking to a third-grader. “Lying bad. Very good.”

**BUT YOU KEEP LYING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR MICHAEL.**

Jenna loses it. “What feelings for Michael? You have feelings for Michael?” She turns to the Squip. “He has feelings for Michael? Oh my God, I  _ knew _ it.”

“The Squip’s delusional, Jenna,” Jeremy says, face growing redder and redder. “He’s got this whole little melodrama in his head where Michael and I are star-crossed lovers. He even messed with my email trying to set us up. And I keep  _ telling _ him it’s  _ never gonna happen _ .” 

“Aw, why not?” Jenna asks, shoving her soldering safety goggles up over her forehead. “You two would be so cute together. Everybody thinks so.”

“What do you mean, ‘everybody’ thinks so?” 

“Oh, everybody I just texted,” she explains, waving her phone toward him. “Jake and Chloe and Brooke, they all think you guys would make an adorable couple.” 

“Jesus Christ, you work fast,” Jeremy complains, glancing down at his phone to see that Brooke’s texted him,  _ I totally ship you and Michael! Meremy 4ever! <3 :3 XD  _ “Can you please not spread this around? I don’t want Michael hearing some rumor and freaking out.” 

Jenna looks up from her phone, in the middle of drafting a Tweet. “Oops,” she says, exiting out of her Twitter app. “Sorry, Jerm. Force of habit.” She slides her phone back in her pocket and slides her goggles back over her face, and then she goes back to soldering. “But why do you think Michael would freak out? Don’t you think he likes you back?” 

Jeremy sighs and knocks his head back against the wall of the shed in frustration. “After all the shit I put him through? How could he?” 

**MICHAEL FORGIVES YOU.**

“Thanks, Squip, I know he forgives me,” Jeremy says. “I just don’t know that he trusts me. And he has every reason not to.”

**BUT IF HE DOESN’T TRUST YOU, HOW IS HE EVER GOING TO TRUST ME?**

“He’s not,” Jeremy shrugs. “Good talk.” 

“I think the Squip might have a point,” Jenna says. “You and Michael practically revolve around each other. Like you’re in your own little universe. Maybe Michael wants to tell you he likes you, like like-likes you, but he’s afraid you don’t feel the same way.”

“This is all hypothetical,” Jeremy groans. “I don’t even like Michael that way!”

**BING.**

“What?”

**BING BING. THAT’S MY LIE DETECTOR. BING.**

“Great,” Jeremy says. “Look, can both of you just drop it? Michael and I are just friends.” 

“Okay,” Jenna says skeptically, but she obliges and goes back to soldering. The Squip pouts for a few minutes, but soon enough he just goes back to playing games on the iPad. 

* * *

 

On their way home, the Squip keeps bugging Jeremy.  _ I’m not trying to cause trouble, I just really want to help _ , it says earnestly.  _ Why won’t you just tell Michael about your feelings for him? _

“Because I don’t do things that will have no end results,” Jeremy says. “Michael doesn’t like me. If I told him about my feelings for him, nothing would even happen. Except that he might stop hanging out with me.” 

The Squip is staring at him, and for a split second Jeremy doesn’t catch his mistake.  _ Did you just say…? _

“Fuck,” he swears. “No, I mean, I meant… I meant IF, I meant…” He stammers into the night. 

_ You DO have feelings for Michael _ , the Squip says gleefully.  _ I was right. And Jenna was right! This is so exciting. _

“No, it’s not,” Jeremy says, irritated. “It doesn’t even matter. So I’m into Michael, so what? I’m still not telling him anything.” He gives the Squip a warning glare. “And neither are you!”

_ Okay, okay, _ the Squip says, holding his hands up in surrender.  _ But you know my stance. From my observations, Michael would very much like to be boyfriend and boyfriend with you. And that’s what you want. But it’s cool, it’s fine, don’t listen to me. _

“Good, I won’t.”

_ Fine. _

“Fine.” 

_ Goodnight, Jeremy.  _


	6. React

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for blood and needles (it's not graphic)  
> Also here's Jenna and the squomp: http://its-tuscan-bean.tumblr.com/post/162632287043/tech-whiz-jenna-ft-reformedish-squip-from-my

 

The next day, Michael’s back at the shed with them, and the next day, and the day after that. They fall into an easy rhythm, Michael and Jeremy chatting and playing on their DSes, Jenna working, the Squip entertaining himself with the iPad and making comments every now and then. Sometimes the Squip and Jenna share snide little asides about Jeremy’s crush, but they’re subtle enough that Michael doesn’t catch on.

It’s a humid Wednesday afternoon that Jenna finally completes the Squip’s body, screwing in the optical receptors (to which she’d added luxurious pipe cleaner eyelashes, at the Squip’s request). “My God,” she breathes, amazed at her own skill. “I should do this professionally.”

“I’m sure Bosch’ll be thrilled to have you,” Michael says, giving her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Okay, so how does this work? How do we get the ghost in the machine and out of Jere’s melon?” 

Jenna fidgets with her goggles, giving Jeremy an apologetic look. “Well, the Squip said that his AI exists now as part of your bloodstream,” she explains. “So I’m gonna need to draw some blood.” 

Michael whistles lowly. “Starting to sound more like a witch doctor than an inventor, Jen.” 

“I know,” she says, frowning. “I’m diabetic, so I’m very good with needles, though! And my little cousins all say I have a calming presence when it comes to, like, fixing scraped knees and stuff. But obviously I’m not gonna force you to do something you don’t want to, Jeremy.”

Jeremy looks at Michael and Jenna, both worried. The Squip watches him curiously, not pushing him, letting him decide. 

“N-no, it’s fine,” he says in a small voice, rolling up his sleeve. “Just get it over with.” 

Michael and Jeremy get their flu shots together every year. Michael knows what to do. While Jenna washes her hands and gets out a syringe, Michael goes to stand in front of Jeremy, taking both his hands in his. 

Jeremy immediately feels warm all over, and it’s half comforting, half embarrassing. He’s pretty sure he’s blushing, but he doesn’t really mind. He does  _ not _ want to know the Squip’s reaction to Michael’s sudden proximity. 

“Just keep looking at me,” Michael says with a voice like pumpkin pie and Mexican hot chocolate. Jeremy melts. “You trust mad scientist Jenna, right? She’s like the coolest girl ever. And you trust me, right?” 

Jeremy nods, working very hard to look away from his arm and stay focused on Michael’s face. “You’re the coolest guy ever,” he says. 

Michael blushes. “You’re not so bad yourself.” But then Jeremy glances over to see what Jenna’s doing so Michael quickly reaches up and grips his chin to keep Jeremy staring straight ahead. 

“Hey, hey, look at me,” he says, delving deep into Jeremy’s personal space bubble. “Just keep looking at me, okay? Eyes on me, buddy, eyes on me.” 

It’s not hard to do what he says. Michael’s hair is still mussed up from when he dozed off earlier, and his eyes and big and wide and… beautiful, actually. Jeremy could stare at him all day. 

“All done,” Jenna chirps, and Jeremy makes the mistake of looking at the vial in her hand as she walks away. 

“Oh fuck,” he says, his vision swimming before him. “I saw the blood.” 

“Sorry!” Jenna says, tucking the vial under her work apron for a second so Jeremy can’t see it. “Oops, sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s fine,” Michael assures her, rubbing a hand over Jeremy’s back. “Right, Jere? You okay? It’s all over.” 

“I’m fine,” Jeremy says, straightening up. He’s a little pale and clammy, but not much more than usual. “Thanks, Michael.”

“Sorry I don’t have a sticker to give you,” Michael laughs, stepping away from Jeremy, who immediately misses his presence. 

**GOOD JOB, JEREMY.**

Jeremy laughs weakly. “Thanks, Squip.” 

Jenna tries to be discreet as she transfers the sample of Jeremy’s blood into the chamber inside the robo-chest on the desk in front of her. “Okay,” she says, clapping her hands together. “Now I just need to start the download. Jeremy?”

“Hm?” he says, still distracted, trying not to look at the bandaid on his arm (and trying not to look at Michael’s face). 

“Just want to get your okay one last time,” she says kindly, watching him from behind her laptop. “As far as I know, everything will be fine, but in case something goes wrong… I mean, the Squip’s still a part of you right now. I’m just worried something bad could happen when I, you know, move him.” 

Jeremy nods, bracing his hands on the counter beside him like he’s getting ready for an earthquake. Michael shoots him an inquisitive look, a just-checking look, and Jeremy nods again. “I’m ready.”

“Awesome,” Jenna says, turning to the Squip in the corner, who’s been fidgeting anxiously with his iPad for the past fifteen minutes. “Squip? Can you come sit here on this crate for me?” A pause, and then she watches the iPad settle on the floor. It’s still; he’s not carrying it around anymore, so she can’t tell where he went. “Jeremy?”

“He’s sitting on the crate,” Jeremy says. 

“Awesome,” says Jenna again. “Okay, here goes nothing. 3… 2… 1…” She presses the download button. 

Jeremy collapses to the floor. 


	7. Restart

As a child, Jeremy used to curl up on the floor with his ear pressed to the vent so he could hear his parents talking late at night. They argued more often than not, muted bickering that eventually dissolved into cold silence. Through the vent, their voices always sounded distorted, like echoes in a tunnel. 

That’s what Michael and Jenna sound like now, only Jeremy’s parents never sounded this civil. Or concerned. 

“... was probably still woozy from getting his blood drawn,” Michael says as Jeremy rises to the surface of his own consciousness. “He’ll probably wake up in like five minutes. I hope.” 

Jeremy feels a hand, rough and warm, touching his forehead, sweeping back his sweat-sticky bangs. Michael. 

“You know,” Jenna says, and Jeremy can’t see her face but she sounds sly, “he’s cute when he’s unconscious.”

“He’s cute when he’s conscious, too,” Michael says, and then kind of coughs like he just realized what he said. “Uh, I mean. Just. I hope he wakes up, soon.” 

Jeremy’s fairly certain he’s awake and can move now, but he keeps his eyes shut, curious. “Michael,” Jenna says, sounding suddenly serious, “if you ever wanna talk about stuff… boys… anything… like, without Jeremy around, I’m always here to talk. Or text. Or DM. And I swear I won’t spread it around.” 

Jeremy hears Michael’s breathy little laugh. “Thanks, Jenna.”

What does that mean? What would Michael need to talk to Jenna about without him around? And… Michael thinks he’s cute? Jeremy plays dead to the world for another minute, waiting, listening, but Michael doesn’t say anything else. 

“Wha…?” Jeremy says, hoping he sounds convincing as he opens his eyes to see Michael’s worried face floating above him. “What happened?” 

“We’re not really sure, buddy,” Michael says, keeping a hand behind Jeremy’s neck to support him. “Jenna tried to download the Squip into his new body and you kinda passed out. But you’re back with us, now, right? You remember where you are?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy says. “Dr. FrankenRolan’s lab.”

Jenna peers at him over Michael’s shoulder. “Do you know who the President of the United States is?”

“Ugh, yeah, but I don’t want to say,” Jeremy grumbles. 

Michael grins. “He’s okay.” 

“Mm,” Jeremy says, leaning back into Michael’s touch. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Jenna says apologetically. 

“I do.” 

Michael and Jenna whirl around when they hear the voice. Still on the floor, Jeremy tries to crane his neck around Michael to see what he and Jenna are looking at. 

“Jeremy experienced a paradox,” the voice says. It sounds to Jeremy like Keanu Reeves but… gentler, less intense. Kind of like John Cusack. “Simultaneously, I existed in his mind and in this… form. That was impossible to comprehend so he… glitched.” 

“Oh my God,” Jenna breathes, staring at someone Jeremy can’t see. 

“Michael,” he says, latching onto his friend’s sleeve. “Help me up.” Michael does, giving him a hand up so Jeremy can see. 

Jenna really outdid herself. The robot body looks like a cross between the Iron Giant and K-2SO, with two Roombas for feet and skinny spindly legs, a gray barrel chest that houses the majority of the computing power and energy source, over-long tube-like arms, big hands, and a bucket-like head topped with a few floppy antennae. 

The Squip’s eyes glow yellow-gold. “Hello, Jeremy.” 

“Oh, man,” Jeremy says, leaning against Michael (not that he particularly  _ needs _ to). “You look… incredible.” 

“Thank you,” Jenna and the Squip say at the same time. 

“Jenna Rolan,” the Squip says, turning to face her. His components whirr a little when he moves. “It’s so nice to finally meet you for real. What you’ve done for me… I can’t thank you enough. But I’m going to try. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU YOU ARE THE BEST.” The Squip wraps his noodley metal arms around her and hugs her, which Jenna gleefully reciprocates after a brief second of hesitation. 

“Let me know if you ever need a recalibration,” she says, sounding humble. “And thanks for… thanks for giving me, um, the opportunity to… I mean, this was the most amazing project I’ve ever…” She’s blotting at tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. This is just the fucking coolest thing that I’ve ever been able to do.” 

The Squip looks down at her fondly before turning to the boys across the shed. 

“Michael,” he says, rolling forward. Wildly, Jeremy imagines wearing Heelys down the street with the Squip and cruising. “I wanted to tell you in my own words how sorry I am. I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M--”

Michael holds up a hand. “You don’t have to shout,” he says quickly. 

“Oh,” the Squip says. “Volume adjusted. I’m so, so, so sorry, Michael. I’m sorry for blocking you from Jeremy’s vision, I’m sorry for hurting Jeremy, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for everything that happened at the play. I understand if you can never forgive me, but the fact remains that I am sorry.” 

Michael rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I mean,” he says, “it’s cool, Squip. I’m just glad you’re out of Jere’s head.” 

At that, the Squip turns to Jeremy. “How do you feel?” 

Jeremy actually has to think about that. “Different,” he says vaguely. “It’s like… introducing my real friends to my imaginary friend.” 

“Would it… be okay if I touched you?” the Squip asks. 

Jeremy’s eyebrows shoot up. “I… guess?” he says, assuming the Squip’s going to hug him like he hugged Jenna.

Instead, the Squip reaches one hand out tentatively, raised above the top of Jeremy’s head. Like a crane machine, he methodically lowers it inch by inch, and then… tousles Jeremy’s curls. Jeremy suddenly thinks back to ninth grade English, reading about Boo Radley ruffling Jem Finch’s hair at the end of  _ To Kill A Mockingbird _ . 

“Thank you,” the Squip says. “For giving me a second chance.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact in TKaM "Jem" is short for Jeremy


	8. Requited

“You’ll bring him back here for visits, right?” Jenna says to Michael and Jeremy as they watch the Squip roll around the shed, exploring his new form and capabilities. “He’s like a son to me.”

“Well, that’s weird, because he’s like a very weird uncle to me,” Jeremy says. “Which makes you my grandma?” 

“I do make a mean fruitcake,” Jenna says with a grin. “But seriously?”

“Of course we will, Jenna,” Michael says. “We’ll bring him back for playdates. Or, you know, adding a mute button.” 

“And turbo boosters!” the Squip says. 

“NO.” 

“You kids have fun,” Jenna says, beginning to clean up her shed. Wire clippings and scraps of paper litter her workspace. She methodically starts picking up as Michael and the Squip start to leave. Jeremy goes to follow them, but Jenna snatches his sleeve. “Slow it up, buttercup,” she says. “I want to talk to you.” 

“What is it?” he asks. “I’m fine, I swear. I don’t feel lightheaded anymore, and I’m gonna drink some OJ when I get home.” 

She smiles. “That’s good, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about,” she says. “It’s Michael.” 

“Oh, this again,” Jeremy groans. “Just drop it--”

“I just want to say one thing,” she says, holding up her hands defensively. “I know that you’re worried that if you tell Michael you like him, he won’t want to be friends anymore, and that’s a very understandable fear to have! But I’m really good at reading people, and you should know, first of all, I’m pretty sure Michael’s into you in the same way. But even if he’s not, he loves you so much. You’ve been friends for so long. Jeremy, he showed up at the play last fall to help you even despite everything. If you tell him you like him and he doesn’t feel the same way, he’s not going to stop being friends with you. There’d be like a week of awkwardness, and then you guys would go back to normal. I’m sure of it.” 

“You think?” Jeremy says, his face turning pink. 

“You gotta think in terms of best case-worst case,” she insists. “Worst case? A week of awkwardness. Best case? You date the dude of your dreams.”

Jeremy scratches the back of his neck, thinking about Jenna and Michael and the Squip and Michael and Michael. “You really think I should tell him?”

“YES,” Jenna says. “Or else I’m gonna have to make some Michael and Jeremy Barbie dolls and make them kiss.” She mimes the action with her hands. 

“Well, thanks for that disturbing image,” Jeremy says, trying not to smile. “I, um. Yeah, fine. I’ll do it. I’ll tell him.”

“Right now?”

“Wha…  _ now _ ?”

“I wanna watch from behind the shed door!” she whines, peeling off her gloves and apron. “Come on, just do it. Step up. Be the hero.” 

“Hrmmm…” he says, fidgeting. “Okay. Okay. Here goes nothing.”

* * *

 

Outside the shed, Michael and the Squip appear to be engaged in an animated discussion about gender and pronouns.

“... technically genderless, so what does that mean for my pronouns?” the Squip asks, head cocked to one side.

“I don’t know, dude,” Michael says, throwing his hands up. “Or not dude, you know, whatever you prefer. You can be he/him if you want, or they/them, or she/hers, whatever you want.”

“What are yours?”

“What are my what? What are my preferred pronouns?” Michael asks, looking as though he feels a migraine coming on. “He/him.”

“Oh, okay. Hello, he/him Michael.”

“That’s… not how pronouns work, Jesus…”

“Michael!” Jeremy calls out, emerging from the shed with Jenna peeking out behind him. “I need to talk to you.” 

“Uh, okay,” Michael says, glancing at the robot. “Squip, can you give us a second?”

“Certainly,” the Squip says, rolling away to chase a butterfly fluttering around Jenna’s chrysanthemums. 

“So,” Jeremy says, walking forward to stand in front of Michael, gathering up his wits and courage (there isn’t as much of those as he might have hoped). “Michael. We’ve been f-friends for, like, ever, a-and I… I think you deserve t-to know…” he stammers. “I d-don’t think of you like a friend.” 

Michael’s face falls. “What the fuck, Jeremy?” he says, anger outweighing shock. “Now that you’ve got your Squip intact again, you’re just ditching me all over again? Fuck, this is just like Halloween…”

“N-no!” Jeremy says quickly. “No, that’s not what I… Michael, I mean I like you as  _ more _ than a friend. I like you, um, in the gay way. Well I guess in the bi way, haha? I mean. You have soft hair and warm eyes and you can make me laugh even when I feel like shit. And I think it would be super tight if we could go to Olive Garden and hold hands or something.” 

Like he’s watching in slow motion, Jeremy can see the change in Michael’s expression, from outrage to confusion to dawning realization to a bright, ear-to-ear smile. “You like me?”

“Yes.”

Michael, if it’s possible, grins even wider. “You like-like me?”

“Yes.” 

He laughs all breathy and looks down at his sneakers. “Nice.” 

“And…?”

“No, yeah, I totally like you back,” Michael says quickly, looking up at Jeremy’s face. Jeremy searches his eyes for a lie, but all he finds is earnest affection. “I have for, like, ever. Like before the Squip thing. I’m just so… this is awesome, sorry, I feel like I need a minute to absorb it.” 

“Take your time,” Jeremy says, grinning. 

“WHAT?!” the Squip yells from across the yard. He wheels toward Michael and Jeremy. “What did Jenna say to you that finally convinced you? I’ve been wheedling him for weeks to tell you how he feels, Michael. I demand some credit for this revelation.” 

“Sure thing, Squip,” Jeremy says, unable to be annoyed or irritated right now. He feels like he’s floating. “I’m like a pickle jar. You totally loosened me, Jenna was just the one to finally pop off the top.” 

“Not a huge fan of that analogy,” Michael admits, toying with a curly lock of Jeremy’s hair. “But I am glad you finally told me. God knows I was never gonna ramp up the balls to do it.” 

The butterfly dips casually around their heads, the Squip whirrs contentedly, the sun bathes the yard in golden light. Jeremy couldn’t have planned this more perfectly. “So now that everything’s out in the open,” he says, “can I kiss you?”

“Fuck yeah,” Michael says, and he closes the gap between them. Their lips meet and it’s as natural as breathing, as natural as hanging out in Michael’s basement and throwing Doritos at each other and arguing about video games. It doesn’t feel weird or unfamiliar, even though they’ve never done it before. It just feels like the natural evolution of their friendship, a one-up of a fist bump.

That’s an upgrade Jeremy can get behind. 

As they watch on, Jenna teaches the Squip how to high five. 


	9. Reprise

**** The first day of senior year, Jeremy opens his eyes when his alarm goes off. Feeling groggy and grouchy, he tries to roll over and go back to sleep, but someone whisks off his blanket and cracks open the blinds. 

“Good morning, time to start your day,” the Squip says brightly, rolling around the bedroom. “Look, I picked out some pants and a shirt for you to wear. But you don’t have to wear them! Just… you can decide for yourself, Jeremy.” 

Jeremy smiles a little at the Squip’s attempt to be accommodating. He really does try to make amends, whether that’s being there for his emotional needs or vacuuming the floor with his feet. Picking up his phone, Jeremy glances at the call history. “Michael called? Squip, did you answer my phone?”

“Yes, but I didn’t pretend to be you or anything!” the Squip says. “Michael called and said he was on his way so I told him I would wake you up.” Still looking at his phone, Jeremy notices his most recent text to Michael. 

“And you sent him a picture of me sleeping?” 

“He asked me to,” the Squip says. “He thinks you’re adorable when you’re sleeping. And he’s right, for the record.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeremy says, but he still gets butterflies when he sees the little heart emojis Michael used to respond to the photo. They’ve been dating for almost two months now, but the butterflies don’t abate. He pulls on the pants the Squip picked out for him but selects a different shirt from the dresser, white with blue stripes. It’s more… him. 

Jeremy has to carry the Squip downstairs. 

“I didn’t even account for that when I made his feet,” Jenna had said back at her shed a week or so after the Squip got his body. “I’ll figure something out, like an attachment or an escalator or something.” 

Until then, Jeremy’s getting his morning exercise in by lifting up the Squip (sending Jenna a mental thanks for making him so lightweight) and bringing him down to the kitchen. 

Michael’s already there, making two bowls of cereal. “Morning, Jeremy,” he grins, leaning over to kiss him. There are those butterflies again. 

“What’re we having?” Jeremy asks, sitting down at the counter. 

Michael shoves a bowl of Lucky Charms toward him. “Gourmet cuisine,” he says. “Dig in.” 

“Jenna says she’s going to try to build me some artificial taste buds,” the Squip comments as he watches Michael and Jeremy eat breakfast. “I want to know what Lucky Charms taste like.” 

“No you don’t,” Michael and Jeremy say at the same time, and then they grin at each other. Michael looks so nice, and  _ is _ so nice, and Jeremy’s just so glad he doesn’t have to feel guilty or anxious about the feelings bubbling up in his chest. 

“Jinx,” Jeremy says, leaning across the counter to kiss Michael again. “You owe me a soda.”

“NOT MOUNTAIN DEW,” the Squip says, making them both laugh. 

When they’re about to head for the door, the Squip turns around and hands each of them a bagged lunch. “Have a good day at school,” he says. “Two Fluffernutter sandwiches, crusts cut off.” 

“You cut the crusts off?” Michael says, impressed.

“It’s the least I could do after everything that happened last year,” the Squip says. “All the terrible things I said to Jeremy, and infecting the other students, and trying to fight you, and--”

“Squip,” Michael says, holding up a hand to stop him. “Thanks for lunch.” 

“You’re welcome, Michael.” 

And Michael holds out a hand for a high five. Tentatively, tentatively, the Squip extends his arm out and then gives Michael the world’s mellowest high five. He still whirrs in glee when it’s done. “See you later, Squip,” Jeremy calls, walking out the door with Michael. 

“Goodbye, Jeremy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!! Hope y'all enjoyed, and thank you so much for all the kudos and kind comments. This was a blast to write and I hope everyone had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. I'm cardassian-andorian on tumblr if you ever wanna chat.

**Author's Note:**

> The Squip using Jeremy's iPad is definitely inspired by Peridot's redemption arc on "Steven Universe," just fyi.


End file.
